The Voice That Says I Am Done Learning
The word Mentirosa came to me through Karina. I heard it from her in some context neither of us can clearly remember now, which already feels appropriate. The word arrived, stayed, and waited for its meaning to open later.
In Spanish and Portuguese, mentirosa is the feminine form of mentiroso, meaning liar, deceitful, or lying one. It comes from mentir, to lie, which traces back to Latin mentīrī, to lie or deceive. So at the surface, Mentirosa is the liar. The one who says what is not true. The one who distorts reality.
But the word also opened phonetically for me.
I hear menti and I think of the mental field, the mind. This is not the formal etymology of mentirosa, but the sound carries me there. It touches mente, mind, which comes from Latin mens, mentis, the rational mind or thought. So in my own reading, Mentirosa becomes a liar of the mind. A mental deception. A false thought that pretends to be wisdom.
Then I hear rosa. Rose. Pink. Something colored, softened, made beautiful, perhaps even made artificially beautiful. Rosa comes from Latin rosa, rose, and in Romance languages it also carries the sense of rose-colored or pink. So the second half of the word gives me something tinted. A false softness. A lie colored in rose. A deception that does not appear harsh because it arrives beautifully.
So Mentirosa becomes more than a liar.
She is the rose-colored lie of the mind.
She is the inner voice that says, I am done learning.
She does not sound like ignorance. She sounds like certainty. She sounds like wisdom that has stopped moving. She says, I already know. I have seen the pattern. I have read the structure. I understand the lesson.
But she is lying.
Because seeing is not learning if nothing in me moves.
I wrote *Mentirosa* after a day that kept teaching me the same lesson in different forms.
I am releasing it today, May 3, 2026.
This date has its own structure, and it feels important to read it before I speak about the song.
The day is 3. L’Impératrice. Demeter. Creation, expression, growth, and form coming into life.
The month is 5. Le Pape. Hermes. The Teacher. Speech, transmission, translation, and the lesson spoken aloud.
So the mind of the day is Demeter, and the heart of the day is Hermes. Creation in the mind, teaching in the heart. The day wants to make something, but it also wants that something to carry a message.
This feels precise for the release of *Mentirosa*. The song is not only a reflection. It is something created from a lesson. It takes what I learned and gives it form. Demeter gives it body. Hermes gives it language.
The interior eye is 3 plus 5, which gives 8. Justice. Themis. So the day sees inwardly through balance, correction, proportion, and truth. This matters because *Mentirosa* is a song about correcting an inner imbalance. It names the false voice that says I am done learning. It brings that voice before Themis and asks whether it is true.
And it is not true.
The year, 2026, reduces to 10. La Roue de Fortune. The Moirai. This is the ground beneath the release. The song stands on the Wheel. It comes from repetition, return, and cycle. The lesson did not arrive once. It came through a fall, a call, a conflict, a conversation, a question, an employer, a mother, a wife, a word, a song, and a day. The same truth kept returning through different faces until I could no longer pretend I had already learned it.
The last two digits of the year, 26, reduce to 8. Justice again. Themis again. These are the legs of the day. So the day sees inwardly through Justice and walks through Justice. It is not only asking for insight. It is asking for correction. It wants the lesson to become balanced in action.
The exterior eye is the year plus the month, 10 plus 5, which gives 15. Le Diable. Pan. So the day looks outward through entanglement. Through attachment, desire, instinct, and the bonds that hold us.
This matters because learning is never clean. I do not learn only through beautiful ideas. I learn through people. Through relationships. Through frustration. Through responsibility. Through the places where I am bound. Pan brings the lesson into the body, into the workplace, into the home, into the places where I cannot pretend to be separate.
The hidden eye of the day is 13, because the day plus the year gives 3 plus 10. Arcane sans nom. Hades. Transformation.
This feels exact for *Mentirosa*.
The song is about the inner voice that says I am done learning. But to release the song is to name that voice, and once it is named, it cannot remain hidden in the same way. Hades enters not as punishment, but as transformation. He removes the false form. He takes away the illusion that I have already arrived.
So the hidden eye of the day sees what must be stripped away. It sees the lie beneath certainty.
Mentirosa says, I already know.
Hades answers, no, something in that certainty has to die.
The destiny number of the full date is 18. La Lune. Hekate. Obscurity, night, dream, reflection, and the path through what is not fully visible.
This gives the release a deeper mystery. The song does not arrive in the clear daylight of simple knowing. It arrives under the Moon. It belongs to the uncertain path, to the hidden voice, to the shadow that must be heard before it can be understood.
This also fits the title. *Mentirosa* is not a loud enemy. She is a whisper. She lives in the mental fog. She sounds like certainty, but she hides in obscurity. Hekate governs the crossroads where I have to choose whether I will keep believing the lie or keep learning.
And my relationship to today is 12 plus 3, which gives 15. Le Diable. Pan.
So personally, I meet this day through entanglement. Through the knot. Through the place where I am bound to the voice that says I already know. This is not only the exterior eye of the month. It is also my relationship to the release day. Pan appears both outwardly and personally.
That means the song is not abstract for me. It is about a real attachment. I am attached to my own certainty. I am attached to the comfort of believing I have already understood. I am attached to the position of the observer, the one who sees the structure but does not always change.
So the tree of life of this release day becomes clear.
The mind is Demeter.
The heart is Hermes.
The interior eye is Themis.
The ground is the Wheel.
The legs are Themis.
The exterior eye is Pan.
The hidden eye is Hades.
The destiny is Hekate.
My relationship to the day is Pan.
Creation in the mind, teaching in the heart, Justice within and beneath the movement, the Wheel as ground, Pan looking outward, Hades hidden below, Hekate as destiny, and my own relationship to the day tangled through Pan.
That is the day I release *Mentirosa*.
A song created from a lesson.
A lesson spoken through Hermes.
A lie weighed by Themis.
A cycle carried by the Wheel.
An attachment revealed by Pan.
A false certainty cut by Hades.
A shadow path opened by Hekate.
The lesson was simple, but not easy.
I am not done learning.
There is a voice inside me that sometimes says otherwise. It tells me that because I can see a pattern, I have understood it. It tells me that because I can name a structure, I have learned from it. It tells me that because I can explain something, I have changed.
That voice is Mentirosa.
She is not another person. She is the lie inside me that says I already know.
But the world does not agree with her.
The world keeps teaching.
The Day of the Teacher
This happened in the month of Le Pape, Hermes, the Teacher. The one who speaks, transmits, translates, and repeats the lesson until it is finally received.
The day began with time. Cronos appeared immediately, not as an idea, but through the body. Someone came to me first thing in the morning and told me she had fallen down the stairs on her way to work. The day opened with impact, interruption, and gravity.
Then another call came. It was about delay, about work not starting on time, about someone failing to move when the structure required movement. Again, Cronos appeared. Time was not being respected. Time was accumulating.
Later, I entered a building marked by 12, Le Pendu, my own card. I went there to speak with people who were unhappy, burdened, and caught in a structure that was no longer working smoothly. I listened. I held the conversation. I tried to stabilize the moment.
And that is when the deeper lesson began to reveal itself.
I am very good at holding.
I can listen. I can read. I can see the symbolic pattern. I can stay inside tension without breaking.
But holding is not the same as resolving.
I did not help the woman who fell. I did not resolve the conflict in the phone call. I did not truly fix the burden of the employee who was asking for help. I received the messages, but I postponed the action.
I saw the lesson, but I did not move it.
That was the hard truth.
Seeing Is Not Learning
This became the center of the song.
Seeing is not learning if nothing in me moves.
I can understand a problem and still avoid it. I can recognize a wound and still not heal it. I can know the pattern and still repeat it.
That is why the line matters:
I don’t know what I don’t know.
It is a sentence of humility.
It opens the door again.
It tells Mentirosa to let go.
Teachers Everywhere
Another realization came through one of the great teachers of my life.
For years he has said something very simple in the context of hiring: look for people who are willing to learn. If someone believes they have learned all there is to learn, they do not belong in the organization. We are looking for learners.
I thought I understood this as management advice.
Now I see that it was also meant for me.
Am I willing to learn?
Not as an idea. Not as a self-image. Not as something I say about myself.
Am I willing to be taught by the people around me, even when the lesson arrives through discomfort, complaint, delay, conflict, or failure?
That is harder.
Because teachers do not always look like teachers.
Sometimes a teacher is the person who frustrates me.
Sometimes a teacher is the person who interrupts my day.
Sometimes a teacher is the person who fails to do what they were supposed to do.
Sometimes a teacher is the person whose problem I would rather patch than address directly.
If I dismiss the person, I miss the teaching.
If I reduce the person to the problem they bring me, I miss the structure they carry.
Every person carries a lesson. Every person has a field where they are strong and exposed at the same time. A person who carries time teaches me about time. A person who carries love teaches me about love. A person who carries balance teaches me about justice. A person who carries communication teaches me about speech. A person who carries entanglement teaches me about the bonds I do not fully understand.
The outside world reflects what the inside world still needs.
That is the heart of Mentirosa.
Write the Letter
There is another thing I had to learn the hard way.
Write the letter.
You do not have to send it, but write it. Write the first letter, the second letter, the third. Write it because it focuses the mind. Write it because it shows where you need to be.
I used to hear this as practical advice for HR problems.
Now I hear it differently.
Writing is the bridge between seeing and moving.
The Pendu sees. Hermes writes. Apollo acts.
If I do not write, the problem stays formless. It remains fog. It becomes hidden knowledge without transmission. But when I write, I give the problem a body. I bring the hidden thing into language.
That is why the bridge of the song says:
Write the letter
Switch the frame
Find the clue and play the game
Move the structure
Light the way
Learn the lesson
Play, plaaay, plaaaaay
The lesson is not to become heavy. The lesson is to move. To play. To stay teachable. To keep curiosity alive.
Love, Learning, and the World as a School
The song also came through a larger reflection on love.
I had been thinking about how some people are born into a lesson so deeply that they become teachers of it. Not because they have mastered it, but because they live inside it.
That changed how I saw everyone around me.
The world is not just a place where events happen. It is a school. The people around me are not random. They are teachers, mirrors, messengers, and sometimes difficult blessings.
But none of that matters if I refuse to be a student.
That is the real danger.
Mentirosa says I am finished.
The world says I am still learning.
And the song is my way of remembering who to believe.
Mentirosa
[Intro]
mmmmmmmmmmmmmm Mentirosa!
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Mentirosaaaaaa!
[Verse 1]
I thought I knew the pattern
I thought I knew the signs
I thought I saw the structure
I could read between the lines
But seeing is not learning
If nothing in me moves
And wisdom is a mirror
That waits for me to choose
[Pre-Chorus]
There are teachers in the hallway
There are lessons in the streets
There are shadows in the sunlight
And wisdom in the beats
[Hum]
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu Mentirosa!
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu Mentirosaaaaaa!
[Chorus]
Mentirosa, let me go
I don’t know what I don’t know
Every face and every flow
Shows me how I need to grow
Mentirosa, don’t you see
How the world is teaching me
If I listen, if I play
Every teacher shows a way
[Verse 2]
I thought that I was finished
I thought I understood
But knowing where the wound is
Doesn’t mean I’ve healed for good
The fall, the call, the question
The trouble at my door
The struggles I keep meeting
Are lessons I ignored
[Pre-Chorus]
There are teachers at the table
(oh oh)
There are teachers in my home
(oh oh)
There are teachers in the structure
(oh oh)
There are teachers I ignored
[Hum]
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu Mentirosa!
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu Mentirosaaaaaa!
[Chorus]
Mentirosa, let me go
I don’t know what I don’t know
Every face and every flow
Shows me how I need to grow
Mentirosa, don’t you see
How the world is teaching me
If I listen, if I play
Every teacher shows a way
[Bridge]
Write the letter
Switch the frame
Find the clue and play the game
Move the structure
Light the way
Learn the lesson
Play, plaaay, plaaaaay
[Final Chorus]
Mentirosa, let me go
I don’t know what I don’t know
Every face and every flow
Shows me how I need to grow
Mentirosa, don’t you see
How the world is teaching me
If I listen, if I play
Every teacher shows the way
[Outro]
Every lesson makes me grow
Every teacher brings me flow
I don’t know what I don’t know
Mentirosa, let me go
Mentirosa, let me go
[Hum]
mmmmmmmmmmmmmm Mentirosa!
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Mentirosaaaaaa!